I want to demystify an overrated self-help concept: motivation.
Most people assume that if they were more motivated, things would finally change.
- They’d follow through on their goals.
- They’d stop procrastinating.
- They’d feel more confident, disciplined, and consistent.
But here’s the gentler truth:
Most people aren’t stuck because they lack motivation. They’re stuck because motivation on its own is not enough.
Why?
Because motivation is a feeling…and feelings come and go.
Why motivation isn’t enough
Motivation works when things are easy, exciting, or new. But it disappears as soon as challenges arise, things get uncomfortable, or life gets boring.
That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you for being unmotivated. It means you’re relying on one emotion when real change requires several others: patience, humility, and determination (to name a few…).
What actually helps change stick
In my work with clients, most start off fired up and ready to go. But eventually, the motivation fades. Things become difficult, unexpected challenges arise, and soon they are doubting themselves.
That’s when I coach them on leveraging other tools in their mental toolbox. Here are three of my faves:
1. Willingness instead of waiting
Willingness is the ability to take action without needing to feel motivated.
It’s saying:
- “I don’t need perfect clarity to take the next step.”
- “I can tolerate a little discomfort.”
- “I can begin before I feel 100% ready.”
This isn’t about pushing harder. It’s about not waiting for the right mood to strike to move forward.
2. Decisions that reduce friction
Sometimes you don’t need more motivation. You just need fewer decisions draining your energy. I see many people stuck in “I don’t know what to do.”
What moves you forward:
- Clear yes/no boundaries.
- Predictable routines that reduce daily decision-making.
- Less negotiating with yourself.
Decisions aren’t restrictive. They’re supportive.
3. Identity over aspiration
Change sticks when it becomes who you are, not just what you hope to do.
For example, instead of “I wish I were better with money,” try anchoring into identity:
- “I’m not afraid to look at my finances.”
- “I pay my bills on time.”
- “I spend my money with intention.”
When identity leads, behaviour follows.
Motivation isn’t everything
So if motivation isn’t always there for you, don’t consider it a personal failure.
It may be a signal to reach into your mental toolbox and find an alternative option.
Motivation isn’t meant to carry the load.
This is the kind of approach I take with my clients:
- Less hype, more honesty.
- Less pressure, more alignment.
- Less platitude, more pragmatism.
If you’re done waiting to feel motivated and want support building real momentum, this is exactly what I help clients with. You can explore private coaching here.
